


and hear the harmony, only when it's harming me

by miss_coverly



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, canon compliant but make them horny faster, if you've ever watched the script scene and thought 'wow they want to kiss huh'...well here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26447077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_coverly/pseuds/miss_coverly
Summary: “Y—your hand… is…” she stammers.Tohru’s always thought of herself as a little box, with the lid sealed tightly shut. But as Kyo leans over her shoulder, as she feels his warm breath skate across her cheek, as her nails dig into the script like a life-line—she thinks she might be more like a cut that hasn’t quite healed. A wound that’s frayed and jagged where it’s been stitched back up, and the edges threaten to break apart at any moment. If it tears open, there’s nothing left to hold back all that she feels. And she’s not sure if it would ever heal the same way again, if she could ever go back to before it all split open.She can’t.--Tohru tries to give Kyo his new script, and the tension between them comes to a head.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 30
Kudos: 177





	and hear the harmony, only when it's harming me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uchisuke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchisuke/gifts).



> title from [geyser](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lMMiFxOnNZBEJFc4UQPwS) by mitski, which is the soundtrack for this fic because the vibe just hits (ty sophie for sending it to me!!)

The sound of seconds ticking into minutes reverberates in the classroom, pours over into a new hour. And Tohru waits. She sits and waits for him, watches the shadows trace across her desk as the sun changes position in the sky. 

The light shifts from one half of the room to the opposite end. It happens gradually, but she notices it all at once, the same way that time passes slowly at first, and then there’s only a flicker left in front of you. The sun gets close to setting completely. There’s a finality to it that she tries not to get wrapped up in.

Kyo’s probably upset, she knows this, and it weighs heavier the longer she sits. The clearer it becomes that Yuki most likely couldn’t find him. The footsteps she hears moving down the hallway grow infrequent and quieter as everyone else heads home for the day. Anxiety wraps itself around her chest like a serpent, pushes in on her and threatens her with collapse. Like it’s her fault, like she could’ve prevented it. 

A voice tells her to get up and walk home without him.

But she knows she won’t. She knows that going home by herself doesn’t make her feel independent or satisfied or brave anymore.

It’s just… lonely.

She doesn’t understand it. She feels stupid.

There’s the sound of the door sliding open, and it’s like something clicks in Tohru’s heart accordingly, whether she wants it to or not.

She turns around, and there’s Kyo in the door frame, uniform slightly crooked across his shoulders like it always is, the sleeves bunched in odd places. It makes sense, the way that his hair glows even brighter orange as the last bit of sunlight decides to hit him. But something about it hurts her, twists her inside-out in a way that she can’t process.

“Ah, Kyo-kun!” she forces out, smiling widely as she stands up and hurries over to him. “I’m glad you’re here! Yuki-kun said he was going to look for you, but you didn’t come back for awhile.”

He looks down at her, brows furrowed, and she’s reminded that he’s gotten taller. “What are you doing here by yourself? Where’s everybody else?”

And she lies. She babbles about the play, about the revisions to the script, about how she can’t act to save her life. She doesn’t stop talking, because the second she does she’ll have to actually be there in the classroom, existing in her body and standing across from him and grappling with what that means anymore. 

Kyo’s face oscillates between expressionless and saying too much. She’s more in tune with him than she’d ever take credit for, and she knows that he’s... _fighting_ something. Maybe within himself.

And talking doesn’t distract her from the intensity of his gaze, the rise and fall of his chest, his fist slowly unclenching. Wait, his—

“Kyo-kun, your hand—”

She thinks it’s almost funny, how a trail of blood trickles down from where he’s cut—and yet she feels like she's the one being sliced open.

He steps closer, and she still fixates on the blood, a drop hitting the floor, then another. Usually when Kyo draws near, it fills her with warmth. Safety. It always does. 

But panic gets caught in her lungs this time, because it’s not just warmth she feels right now—it’s _heat_ , a searing ache that makes her skin crawl but almost in a lovely way. And she can’t make sense of those two sensations mixing and jumbling together in her gut. She can’t seem to clock when he first started making her feel that way, either.

He reaches past her and rests his injured hand against the table, leaning down, and now she’s pressed into the crook of his arm. The moment knocks the wind out of her. He doesn’t _really_ touch her—he can’t, she's reminded time and time again—but heat radiates off of him and blends with the fire curling in her belly, and he’s _so so close—_

“Y—your hand… is…” she stammers.

Tohru’s always thought of herself as a little box, with the lid sealed tightly shut. But as Kyo leans over her shoulder, as she feels his warm breath skate across her cheek, as her nails dig into the script like a life-line—she thinks she might be more like a cut that hasn’t quite healed. A wound that’s frayed and jagged where it’s been stitched back up, and the edges threaten to break apart at any moment. If it tears open, there’s nothing left to hold back all that she feels. And she’s not sure if it would ever heal the same way again, if she could ever go back to before it all split open.

She can’t.

Kyo leans back but not by much, and his eyes fix on Tohru’s. Kyo—who is always turning red, stumbling over his words, avoiding eye contact—looks directly at her. His eyes are warm and sincere, expression quiet and calm. His face remains inches from hers, his refusal to pull away making her squirm.

She feels the inertia of the moment grate against something in the air that says _move_. She wants him to move back or come closer or do _something_. Her heart thumps inside her chest as she notices his strong jawline, his high cheekbones, the downward curve of his lips.

Oh. His lips.

Her eyes flit down, just for a moment. She didn’t even mean to, but the sight of his mouth _right there_ makes her flush hot as she looks back up. The subtle change in his eyes makes her pulse race. His irises betray something feral and alight. Something like yearning.

His eyes roam down to her mouth now, too, and she thinks offhandedly about how chapped her lips are. His eyes don’t dart away. She breathes in sharply as she watches his pupils dilate a little bit. He leans closer to her, barely an inch away now, and she doesn’t know what’s coming next but she wishes he’d just _do it_. His eyes meet hers again, and there’s a twinkle in them that she can’t comprehend.

It feels like a challenge. Like teasing. 

_She feels so stupid—_

And then Kyo kisses her.

His lips are soft, and maybe it surprises her, when she’d never considered that they wouldn’t match the sharpness of his tongue, but rather the gentleness of when he speaks to her alone. 

She’s never thought about what it would be like to kiss Kyo. Or maybe she has. She can’t quite remember in the moment. Doesn’t want to think right now, anyway, just wants to focus on what she feels.

There’s a fervor, a chaos that comes with his lips pressed to hers. Everything blares loud and quiet at the same time. She doesn’t know why it doesn’t scare her. 

His hand comes up to cup her face, his beads pressing lightly into her cheek. It’s sweet.

The kiss isn’t long enough to properly make sense of it. She reaches up to touch his hand that’s cradling her face, and he pulls away abruptly.

Tohru’s eyes snap open, and the calm confidence she saw in Kyo’s eyes only moments ago has morphed into wide-eyed panic. A flush is quickly working its way up his neck, into his ears and across his cheeks. She’s sure that she’s bright red, too.

They stare blankly at each other. They both speak at the same time.

“I tripped—”

“I’m so sorry, Kyo-kun—” Tohru pauses. “You tripped?”

“Yeah.”

“Um... how?”

“I just _did_.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Kyo huffs a sigh. “You don’t need to apologize.”

She starts babbling incessantly while he’s unable to get words out at all. She can’t really hear what she’s saying—excuses, apologies, brushing it off as a joke. She feels hot all over, overwhelmed throughout her entire body. She wants to laugh and cry and dance and scream all at once, and she can’t explain why.

Kyo steps towards her again, and she ignores the flutter it stirs in her chest—because then he grabs the script out of her hand and heads to the classroom door. He stops before leaving, and she catches a glimpse of his face as he looks just barely over his shoulder. His cheeks aren’t red anymore; now he’s nothing but downcast eyes, the set of his jaw, the angular lines of his face making him look suddenly more severe. Dangerous. Tortured.

It feels like day and night. She hates how he’s a mystery when he wants to be, while she reads like an open book.

“Just… sorry,” he says, finally. “That was stupid. Just forget about it.”

She reaches up and touches her cheek. The last trace of the sunset hits her shoulder blades through the window, like a slow burn.

“Okay,” she says, quickly following him out. She feels like a cut being ripped open.

* * *

They haven’t spoken all evening, and it twists in Tohru’s gut like sickness.

Kyo made a beeline for his room the second they got home from school, and he’s been locked in there since. Tohru busies herself with changing out of her uniform, with practicing her lines, with tidying up. She distracts herself, banishes it to the corners of her mind. 

Kissing someone doesn’t… have to _mean_ anything. Not always.

Definitely not today.

_It was her first kiss, though—_

She keeps her thoughts at bay well enough until she makes dinner. Kyo’s still nowhere to be found. Maybe she’s just hungry, but a hollow pit forms in her stomach as she walks up the stairs to get him. It’s like the flat of a blade versus the sharp edge, how she desperately wants to see him while also wanting to stay as far from him as possible.

She stops in front of his door, knocking before she can talk herself out of it. 

“Kyo-kun? Dinner’s ready.”

No response.

“And I…” She struggles to speak louder this time. “I wanted to talk to you. If that’s okay.”

It’s silent for a long moment, and she almost goes back downstairs without another word. But her heart flip-flops when she hears the faint sound of movement. The door opens, and there’s Kyo.

It makes her feel lighter, the way his hard features soften the longer he looks at her. She still feels that terrifying heat, but there’s the familiar warmth alongside it, too.

“Hi, Kyo-kun.”

“Uh, hi.”

Tohru pushes past the awkward silence. “About today...”

"Oh. That."

"Right. Well, I just wanted to talk about it—"

She starts to lose her nerve when Kyo cuts her off. “That was just… I wasn’t thinking, okay? My head wasn’t on straight. It was stupid,” he rubs at the back of his neck, “just really fucking stupid.”

“But, I—“

“Like I said, I’m sorry." His voice gets harsher. "Just forget about it.”

Tohru balls her fists, bites down hard on her bottom lip as she stares at his feet. “But I don’t… want to forget about it. Not that it meant anything, but… I mean, it just… it seemed like it was important to you.”

His voice is tight. “Why?”

“I don’t really know.” Her nails dig into her palms, and she thinks she might feel a little better if they cut into her skin. She forces herself to meet his eyes and feels almost brave. “I mean, was it? Important to you.”

He looks at her for a long time, his eyes piercing her through like torches. It feels like drowning, or like exploding, the way she knows him better than anyone—and yet sometimes she looks at him and thinks she doesn’t know anything at all. Tears well up in her eyes, something selfish and ugly bubbling up inside her. 

Kyo doesn’t say anything, but then before she knows what’s happening he’s leaning down. He presses his lips to her cheek, light and firm at the same time. It feels like being submerged in a feeling that she could never properly describe.

“Yeah,” he says into her ear, so softly that she isn’t sure she heard it right.

He pulls away as fast as he kissed her and moves past, farther down the hallway. She’s left spinning. He stops at the top of the stairs.

“Tohru?”

She turns around, dizzy and breathless and a little confused. “What?”

Kyo laughs, quiet and low in his chest. “Dinner’s gonna get cold.” He moves closer to chuck her gently on her forehead with his fist. “What, you forget already?”

“Oh.” She flushes. “No, I just… well, maybe I did,” she giggles.

“Dummy,” he says, and she thinks that he maybe looks a little bit… _pleased_ , as he takes her hand. 

He leads them down the stairs, and Tohru feels the warmth of his palm against hers, the rough skin of his knuckles under her fingertips. For a moment, she looks down and sees the place where he was bleeding earlier.

The cut looks like it’s healed. She hopes it’ll stay like that. All sealed up, just like new.

She needs it to. For just a little bit longer.

**Author's Note:**

> happy happy birthday, miss livvy!! i always love our kyoru chats, and i hope this made you smile!!
> 
> i’m on [tumblr](https://lesbian-kyoru.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/miss_coverly)!! xoxo
> 
> link if you’d like to [reblog](https://lesbian-kyoru.tumblr.com/post/629172785608097792/and-hear-the-harmony-only-when-its-harming-me)


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